Like shooting stars, there are those among us who blaze brightly and shine as we fly across the brief sky of this lifetime. My sister Amy was one of these shooting stars, and I feel she still shines on with her love that transcends the boundaries of life and death, even though she is no longer physically with us. She passed away at the end of February held in love by her family, who had gathered around her. While there is a lot that I could say about her on multiple levels, I wanted to share one aspect of her journey at the end of her life that might be of relevance to some of those who might not have known her. Maybe it will serve as inspiration, as it has been for me.
Amy was a meditator, a yogini through and through. Ever since she was young, she had a knack for kindness, love, and uplifting others. When she was still relatively young in her early twenties, she moved to the mountains of Arizona to begin studying meditation full time with Garchen Rinpoche and other Tibetan Lamas. I was in retreat and at grad school for some of those eight years she trained, worked, and practiced there. Still, over those years I witnessed an incredible transformation that she underwent. I was able to talk with Amy about the hidden depths of meditation, bodhisattva path, Tibetan pure vision and treasure traditions, and the translations that I was working on in ways that I haven’t been able to do with many others. It was all so alive for her too.
Almost two years before she passed, Amy found out that she had a very difficult type of brain cancer. Needless to say, this was extremely hard to deal with, for her, my parents, my dear sister Carrie, Amy’s loving partner Brett and his kids, and Amy’s wider circle of dear friends, family, and sangha. Instead of giving up, with courage she took her illness onto the path and was adamant about seeking whatever realistic paths to healing were available. On an outer level, with courage she underwent surgery, radiation, chemo, and other cutting-edge therapies. On an inner level, she lovingly cared for those around her as much as she could, even though she was the one undergoing these difficult treatments. In addition to these, there was a world where she was interacting with her spiritual teachers and applying their instructions throughout her illness and through her passing transformation. With her permission, I will share some of the instructions that I translated for her.
Having studied with both Garchen Rinpoche and Traga Rinpoche for years, they were readily available to share their encouragement and advice from the moment they were told of Amy’s illness and upcoming surgery. Garchen Rinpoche gave these instructions:
“In general, when you are preparing for surgery, do not think about the existence of the sickness. Instead, visualize the syllable Hung at that place while you practice and see yourself as Tara. At the hospital and medical facilities, it is important to see everyone as Chenrezig and Jetsün Tara. This is really what these people are, and when you practice like this, they really become the deities. Focus on having pure perception towards all those around you, meditating upon yourself as Tara and reciting the Tara mantra. Ultimately there is no sickness. Pray one-pointedly to Tara. You are not praying alone, because I will also be praying right with you. Our minds are always together.
Imagine that the cost and efforts you go through for the medicine and treatment are offerings of generosity. Imagine that through these offerings, the hospitals and doctors will be able to provide medicine and treatment to countless beings in the future. In this way you generate merit. Freely offer this generosity without greed or regret. In this way, your offering is multiplied tens and hundreds of times. Imagine that all those around you are accumulating vast amounts of merit as well. Imagine that their merit grows and will benefit everyone now and in the future.”
Traga Rinpoche added to that with:
“Additionally, when you practice Tara for healing you can visualize white Tara in front of you as well as visualize yourself as white Tara. In your own heart as white Tara you can visualize an eight-spoked wheel with the mantra arranged. Imagine that the white Tara in front of you emanates blessings towards you and all sentient beings to bestow siddhis, heal all sicknesses, increase longevity, and pacify all obstacles and obstructions. Not only imagine the blessing power of white Tara but see her blessings as the blessings of all the enlightened activities of all the Buddhas throughout the three times. In a single deity, the blessings of all the Buddhas reside. When you practice Tara, she has the power to help every single sentient being including you.
When you practice white Tara, the blessings of her immortal life, longevity blessings for all sentient beings, and enlightened activities for all sentient beings become a part of you. Her longevity is the longevity of all the Buddhas. They live without any limit. Imagine that she emanates the limitless immeasurable longevity blessings of all the Buddhas into you so that you are filled with her light and filled with the immortal longevity of all the Buddhas who dwell until the end of cyclic existence.
See her before you, as vast as the space of the entire universe. Imagine that both from the Tara in front of you and yourself as white Tara, light rays emanate in all directions bestowing the siddhis of longevity upon yourself and all sentient beings. For beings who are sad, she pacifies sadness. For beings who are sick, the sicknesses are cleared away. The longevity and lifeforce of yourself and all beings are increased and grow through her blessings. For beings who are quarrelling and fighting in this world, she pacifies their anger and brings peace. Imagine that the loving blessings of Tara’s healing light fill you and all sentient beings completely, establishing everyone in a state of happiness, health, longevity, and peace.”
Meditating with Amy and others for her healing was powerful on levels that I hadn’t known before. Some of the practices we did were included in this last post: Healing Medicine Buddha, Oddiyana Medicine Guru, Achi Queen Of Medicine, & Yuthog Nyingthig Visions. When the wish to heal comes from a place of love, I don’t think anything can really stand in the way. Even though we can’t live forever in these temporary human bodies and must travel on when it’s our time, if we invoke the healing energies of our deepest natures, that awareness continues with us all through this life and beyond.
Through the outer therapies facilitated by the tireless kindness of her family and the bodhisattva medical community, Amy’s inner fortitude of love, and through the power of prayer, Amy gained some extra time. She used this to travel, marry the love of her life, and spend infinitely precious time with her family and friends. At a certain point though, she learned that her illness returned. All too soon, she progressively needed more care.
When it became apparent that things had drastically changed, Garchen Rinpoche sent her this message:
“Meditate on yourself as Tara and recite the Seven Verse Prayer for Tara’s Protection. Meditate that you, Tara, and I are all the mother Tara, mindful goddess. At your crown, whether you think, “I feel good, I feel bad,” and so forth, don’t think of yourself or any illness but see yourself as Tara. See everything as Tara. You really are ultimately Tara.”
I was able to translate this Seven Verse Prayer for Tara’s Protection into English verse and sing it for Amy, while she was still very lucid. She really applied herself to sing mantras even when other things became difficult. In fact, she still sang the mantras of Tara, Chenrezig, Amitabha, Guru Rinpoche, and Achi with me over the phone even on the last day she was awake. While she may not have remembered every last syllable perfectly, she knew their melodies and meaning by heart through the end. It reminded me of when I was younger, Garchen Rinpoche telling me about how important the melodies were, because we could recall them even in the bardo after death.
When Amy learned that she was going to be taken off other therapies and enter hospice care, Garchen Rinpoche sent her this message:
“Amy of great love, do not worry. Our mind does not die. Our bodies are just like guest houses, and our consciousness is like a guest. When the karmic stay of this life is over we must leave, yet our mind does not die. So let your mind travel then to Amitabha (the Buddha of Infinite Light). Amitabha is the embodiment of all the Buddhas gathered together. You are Tara, the mother of all the Buddhas. Feel that the Buddha Amitabha above your crown embodying all the Buddhas and Lamas together, including me. Know that we are together and inseparable. I have so much love for you.”
We trained together, practicing Amitabha and phowa (the practice of transferring our consciousness at the time of death) while she was still lucid in person and over the phone. I had planned to be practicing Yamantaka with Garchen Rinpoche at the end of February, but it became apparent that Amy’s time was limited, and so I took off to be with our family at the end. Even though it was incredibly hard seeing her separate from this world and especially the impact that it had on our family and her partner Brett, at the same time, I felt a deeper peace slowly come through those last couple of weeks.
Just before Garchen Rinpoche entered retreat he shared this final message for Amy, and she briefly opened her eyes when she first heard it:
“Oh Amy, meditate solely upon Amitabha (the Buddha of Infinite Light). Imagine Amitabha within a rainbow infinitely appearing above the crown of every single sentient being. Paying homage to the Buddha Amitabha, meditate on the mantra: Om ami dewa hri, Om ami dewa hri, Om ami dewa hri, again and again. When you hear the Prayer to be Born in Dewachen think of the qualities there. Remember the Buddha Amitabha one-pointedly. Your mind is a mirror. When you think of Amitabha, you become Amitabha. Have no doubt that you will become Amitabha. This is the prayer I make.”
Amy passed away peacefully surrounded by her family with Garchen Rinpoche’s final instructions and the gentle mantra of Amitabha in her ear. Traga Rinpoche was immediately available from across the world and kindly performed three different phowa practices to guide her consciousness to the pure realms of the Buddha of Infinite Light. Later it turned out that she passed away exactly at the time when thousands of miles away Garchen Rinpoche was doing the completion stage and receiving the accomplishments of Yamantaka practice in retreat with many others. There were other auspicious signs.
As much as I miss my sister, I’m also trying to harness this experience to take her illness and death onto the path as she did.
The last night before Amy passed, I stayed awake to keep watch over her with my dad who was in and out of sleep. I had waited for the right time for months to translate this special text on Tara phowa, the practice of transferring our consciousness into Tara’s heart and into our ultimate nature. It comes from a series of pure visions, the Supreme Wish-fulfilling Jewel Treasure (Yizhin Norchog), that Rinchen Phüntshog (1509-1557) had of Tara. In these visions, Tara showed him how enlightenment and the essence of all the Buddhas were contained inside our very own bodies and minds. Since one of Amy’s main meditation practices was Tara, we used to talk about this cycle of visions over the course of the years, and she expressed her deep interest. It finally seemed appropriate to attempt to fully embrace these instructions as she was soon to begin a new journey. Gazing at her and her thangka of Tara behind her, I translated the Shooting Star Tara Phowa and prayed to Tara to take care of Amy, invoking Tara’s love as much as possible. In the end, I have no doubt that Amy became a shooting star merging into Tara and Amitabha’s hearts. Even though a lot has changed, I feel their light and infinite love shining down upon us in a way that can never die.
Relevant Translations:
In Garchen Rinpoche’s teachings to Amy and many others, he encourages us to see all beings as Tara and Chenrezig. Likewise, we can meditate on the union of all the wisdom and love of the universe embodied in Amitabha, the Buddha of Infinite Light. When our time in this world is over, we can transfer our minds into Amitabha’s heart without doubt that we will be born in the pure realm of Dewachen where we can continue to train and work to help all beings throughout the universe until the very end of cyclic existence. Here are the translations mentioned in the above post and some others to potentially help on our journeys through this life and beyond.
Tara Prayer and Practices
1. Seven Verse Prayer for Tara’s Protection by Jigten Sumgön (8-20-25)
2. Supreme Gift of Immortality – Wish-fulfilling Wheel White Tara by Bongtrül Tendzin Nyima (8-20-25)
3. Luminous Essence – Wish-fulfilling Wheel White Tara Longevity Sadhana by Rinchen Phüntshog (8-20-25)
Chenrezig Practices
6. Ship of Liberation – Great Compassionate Jowo Chenrezig Practice by Orgyen Nüden Dorje (8-20-25)
Amitabha Practice, Prayers, and Phowa
7. Buddha Amitabha Pure Vision – Swift Path to Dewachen by Orgyen Nüden Dorje (8-20-25)
8. Concise Prayer to be Born in Dewachen Treasure – Emaho, Ngotsar Sangye by Mingyur Dorje (8-20-25)
9. Drigung Phowa Transmission Concise Practice by Orgyen Nüden Dorje (8-20-25)
10. Tertön Nyida Sangye’s Inserting the Grass Stalk – Concise Phowa Prayer (8-20-25)